Saurabh knew that if he took one step further his feet would no longer be on the ground; they’d be flying through the air. And then a few seconds after that he would be at the bottom of Aruvikkara River; a far cry from being safe and secure on the dam walls. There were so many excellent, and completely logical reasons why he should end his life right there – for starters, the weather was terrible that day, he couldn’t find the left-foot to his favorite pair of shoes, [which left him only the sucky ones that he meant to throw out months ago], his sister, Shalin, had a full fledged week off, [which obviously meant high internet bills in his near future], and to top it all off the Gemini’s horoscope for the week said that he would find love in all the right places – which was obviously not true because Arunima had dumped him the night before.
Saurabh could hardly believe he was dumped! Everything had been going absolutely perfectly then all of a sudden she “didn’t feel the same attraction” as she had initially felt. He knew that those were only her kind words for saying that she found someone new, and he knew exactly who it was.
Arunima had dumped him for his friend Rameez George, who in spite of his ridiculous name, was quite sought after amongst all of the girls at Saurabh’s college. Once he played a girl a love song on his guitar they became his and Arunima was no exception. Saurabh wondered what could possibly be that intriguing about a guitar player, he played the drums and he couldn’t quite understand why he didn’t cause girls to have the same reaction.
As Saurabh stood staring into the Aruvikkara River so intently that you would think it held all of the answers to life; he replayed in his mind the same fantasy he had been replaying for the past 15 hours, 23 minutes, and approximately 45 seconds, not that he had been counting. Arunima would run up to him and take him by the hand and tell him that Rameez George's handsome face, and perfectly bright eyes, and guitar-playing status meant absolutely nothing to her and that she would rather be with an avid drums player any day; too bad that fantasy hadn’t happened. When saurabh realized that his fantasy would probably never come true that was just one more reason why he belonged right there on the floor of the Aruvikkara river.
What would he do without Arunima, his only and first love? What would he do if he had to see her with Rameez George in the hallways or worst yet, on dates? The thought almost made him want to jump off right then; the thought of his only love with someone else. He remembered her delicate fingers, the way she insisted on keeping them inside her pockets whenever they stood next to each other; he thought that was cute although that habit meant he had never held her hand, or how she used to get that face whenever he told a joke, probably because she never found him particularly entertaining; or even how she used to talk right when he intended to go to a movie with her; Arunima had always been the shy type. But that was okay, because she had put up with him for exactly fourteen days; longer than anyone else in the history of Saurabh’s life.
For two entire life-changing weeks Saurabh’s life had been altered forever because of a girl named Arunima. He recalled the first time he uttered the words, “I love you,” probably on their first actual date – she had looked surprised and although she never spoke the words back he knew that she had felt the same way. They were soul-mates; even love calculators in channels said they were, and they’re always right.
Saurabh took out the note he had carefully addressed to his family, friends, and possibly anyone else who even knew he existed. It simply read, “I had to do this, if I can’t be with Arunima, my only love, there is simply no reason to continue existing.” He folded it neatly and put it back in his pocket, but then it occurred to him that if he jumped over the dam, with the note, it would never be recovered, and that would be absolutely pointless! Well I guess he could just take off his shirt and leave it behind on the roof, he wouldn’t need it anyways.
Saurabh stood there reminiscing about the 14-days worth of good times between him and Arunima and then something, or rather someone, popped up into his mind. He looked out to the River with an almost trivial look on his face now and took out his letter and dropped it toward its murky waters and started to walk off, after all Arunima had friends and they were all single.
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