I stood, numb. There was no other way to feel. No other way, because I had constantly begged myself- begged her- that this didn't happen. But why? Why?
It was the only question I wanted answered. I didn't want to know how she did it, or where, or what she did it with, even though I knew all of this already. Every question I didn't want to know the answer to was given to me on a silver platter, but she took the last- the only answer that mattered- with her.
I guess she forgot I was part of the deal, too.
It was safe to say I never saw it coming. Nobody did. She was a crappy liar, and I could always see through her. But why, the only time it ever mattered, did I fail? Why did she leave me here with not even a god damn answer!
And like an echo in my head, I heard, 'I have my reasons.'
She always said she hated being a burden, but didn't she know she was only making things worse? She had left me blind. I didn't know what to feel; to blame her or me. And of course, naturally, they would jump to the latter.
'Is this what you wanted?' I thought to rain splashing wildly all over the place. 'How could you!'
I began to sob- the only time I cried about this, because I knew she knew. And I wanted to make her feel guilty. I wanted to make her feel the same way I was feeling.
"How could you do it!" I shouted into the rain.
And the rain carried her answer right back down.
'How could you let me?"
